Ever felt a complete lack of energy, that goes beyond any physical ailments you might have, or has nothing to do with your workload? That feeling of deep-seated inability to move forward despite a list of to-dos, that is a mile long, AND despite knowing all of the reasons why you want to do them?
Sometimes, motivation, inspiration, and reasons behind your goals are not enough. Sometimes, moving on, from those who have hurt you, does not free you. You have done everything you are supposed to do, yet, you seem to fall right back into the pattern, of an inability to move forward, to take action, to forcefully move on.
Have you checked your self-talk?
Our negative self-talk can be more draining than any physical ailment we can have. Negative self-talk might even go unnoticed for a while, a silent voice, that is so often with you, that you are not aware of it all of the time, but it is there, working on your soul, allowing you to not move forward because it drains you.
How to become aware of your self-talk.
Take a couple of days, noting your self-talk, by focusing upon your thoughts. Notice that I did not write correct, or criticize your self-talk. I want you to only become aware of your self-talk. If you recognize any patterns, like specific situations, time of day, or people who trigger this negative self-talk, then note that too.
How to change your negative self-talk.
This is a multiple step process, that takes patience on your part, but it will be worth the work.
Once you have done the above exercise, begin to thank your thoughts. These negative self-talks are here for a reason. They have protected you, made you aware of situations, and gave you anger – which at times, can be a motivator for action. So, instead of forcing a change, acknowledge their presence, thank them, and move on.
After a few days of acknowledgments and thanking them, insert affirmations. Again, do not force change, but rather, insert a mantra of your choice, that you repeat three times. I suggest the following affirmation, but you can write one that particularly fits your negative self-talk. Smile when repeating this affirmation. I am safe in my here and now. I am positive and powerful.
Practice step two for 7 days, then move on to step three. By this time, you will already have noticed that there will be less occurrences of negative self-talk in many instances. But for those times, when you still catch negative self-talk, assume a more powerful pose (see my post on power posing for more details), by straightening your spine, squaring your shoulders, and smiling, while repeating the mantra. Hold this post the entire time you repeat the affirmation, and assume it often throughout the day, holding it for at least one minute.
Remember that creating new action take on average 21 days before becoming an automatic habit. Be patient with yourself and do not push. Forcing yourself to stop negative self-talk will not create lasting change. And, after all, that is what in the end we are all after – a lasting change, that increases the enjoyment of our entire life and not just a temporary fix.